We spend a great deal of our time on the phone with calls, text messaging, on the computer with Instant Messaging and emails. We talk, we text, we send rarely connecting with a heart felt conversation or any real communication having taken place. We rarely communicate in a way that melts away the loneliness we feel and articulates our self expression within our message. With our mouths moving and our hearts closed, we attempt to communicate with more failures than successes.

Communication has become almost extinct in marriages, ranking the second reason of divorce. It is often jokingly stated that you can tell if a dining couple is married because there’s little to no conversation between the two. Consequently, improved communication between you and your mate can only improve your marriage and draw the two of you closer and form an unbreakable bond.

There is a lack of conversations with our families at our dinner table. Families within our households do more yelling from room to room than sitting down with one another to discuss family matters. Communication among family members invites harmony and understanding.

In the workplace the inbox on your computer is packed yet no answer to the urgent question asked over a week ago has been received. Communication closes the gap between co-workers and renders respect among them.

What’s the missing link in these situations? Face to face, one on one, uninterrupted, intentional communication. It seems that we have all the technology to make our lives easier, yet we have used it to busy ourselves. We have become too busy to take the time to clearly, concisely communicate our needs and thoughts. When we are fortunate enough to convey our needs or thoughts, we are often left wondering if we were really heard and understood.

In order to honor ourselves, we must make every attempt possible to clearly communicate.

• Write points to be made down prior to your telephone call to ensure you get all points across
• If you have to leave a voice message, state the reason for your call so the person called can began to articulate their ideas prior to returning your call
• Write short, detailed emails but greet/acknowledge the reader prior to getting into the business at hand
• When answering the phone, have a smile on your face and I assure you it will radiate through the call
• If you are in no position to answer the phone, don’t. Let the answering service take the message and return it at your leisure
• Take the time to make a phone call, write a letter, send a greeting card to those you care about at least once a quarter
• Leave short, sweet , unexpected notes for those you care about
• Communicate wisely with yourself, monitor your daily internal dialog. Make sure your thoughts and affirmations are progressive, kind and loving

True communication is a win/win situation, you feel better for having done it and the listener is informed. Information equates to knowledge and knowledge equates to power. The more you articulate yourself, the better you become at communicating. Good communicators are respected, valued and valuable, a speakers fee schedule will confirm this statement.

A key point in communication is to always be mindful of your tone and volume in your conversation. Try to be as tone neutral as possible without being monotone or boring. Speak loud enough to be heard by your listener, not the entire office or surrounding area. Voice control is vital to effective communication; it maintains the integrity of the conversation and the attention of the listener.

In order to have your needs met, you must first articulate your needs to the appropriate person. In other words, ask for what you want communication that will reap great benefits when practiced effectively. You have not because you ask not.